So I’m cruising the interwebs, and I see a post about “Best Bears of All Time.”  Exciting right??  Much to my dismay (and I’m sure just about everyone else in the multiverse) the article was about 2cc 2/2 'bears'.  Not a single Bear on the list.  Well it looks like it’s time to put my mana where my mouth is and write a definitive top 10 bears list.

10.  Runeclaw Bear
  • Set: Magic 2010

Pale Bears from Ice Age

{Ed: Not invited to the Brown Bear party}

It’s really hard to be printed in every single core set and then suddenly, for almost no reason,  be yanked for something called a “Runeclaw Bear.”  I’ve seen a lot of power creep since the early Alpha days, but being functionally reprinted, as a new bear, in a core set that promised “50% new cards!” was almost too much for this bear to handle.  When he showed up on twitter to rub salt in my wounds I just about lost it.  As M11 nears and the two of us look to be facing extinction, we seem to have become brothers in arms in the fight to keep bears in Magic: The Gathering.

9.  Ashcoat Bear
  • Set: Time Spiral

I held a real grudge against Runeclaw Bear for functionally reprinting me, but Ashcoat Bear is where the power creep (within the bear clan) really started.  A Grizzly Bears with flash??  Outrageous!  This dude really knows how to surprise people, and bear lovers everywhere rejoiced that their little bears could now jump onto the battlefield whenever they damn well pleased.  I’ve met Ashcoat Bear a couple times, and after talking to him I understand he paid a steep price for that flash.  Dude won’t be OK in the head for a long time, but gets major props from me for doing what it takes.

8.  Bear Cub
  • Set: Portal Second Age

This little dude is a living example that bears are straight BAMF’s right out the womb.  Two power?  Check.  Two toughness?  Check.  This little Bear Cub can throw down with the best of them.  I once heard a story of a Bear Cub fighting off a Abyssal Nightstalker mere seconds after its birth.

7.  Forest Bear
  • Set: Portal Three Kingdoms

There’s a lot of bears on this list that can throw down, but Forest Bear is here for one thing:  To party.  I’ve seen this dude drink his weight in liquor, burn down half a city, and punch Kongming right in the face.  Dude is shameless, fearless, and an excellent representation of the bear species.

6.  Spectral Bears
  • Set: Homelands

Everyone’s always talking ‘ish on Homelands but here’s the one shining star.  2CC for a 3/3?  Must be Spectral Bears.  He’s saying f*** you in a big way to black decks.  In a way I think all bears aspire to be Spectral Bears once they die... to keep living on and bearing it up.

5.  Golden Bear
  • Set: Portal Second Age

OK, Portal Second Age is chock-full of bears.  You couldn’t fit anymore bears into a set without making it the theme.  And Golden Bear?  He’s top of food chain as far as bears are concerned.  He’s the original Vengevine (you know, with out haste and a sweet recursion ability.)  I’ve only met him once, but that dude makes a Wild Nacatl look tame.

4.  Razorclaw Bear
  • Set: Portal Second Age

Another straight up bad ass.  You don’t block Razorclaw Bear, you just don’t do it.  It’s like psuedo-evasion on a bear.  Every time you block him, he just gets more pissed.  He’s not rampaging, he’s not bushido-ing, he’s just straight up pissed about being blocked.  I complain a lot about new ‘bears’ coming out in sets but poor Razorclaw got replaced by a tiger in Portal Three Kingdoms.

3.  Werebear
  • Set: Odyssey

Grizzly Bears from Alpha

It's good to be the king

I love Werebear, I’m not afraid to say it.  He likes to play it down as a measly 1/1 but don’t you ever underestimate the Werebear.  Not only does he accelerate, he turns the heat on late game and starts bashing face exactly when you need him to.  Moody though... always moody. Outside of 36bears.dec Werebear has for sure seen the most amount of play from the bear clan.  But if I had crazy, supernatural powers I’d probably get played a lot more too.

2.  Striped Bears
  • Set: Weatherlight

Striped Bears was the Spreading Seas of his day.  Cantripping’s a big deal in the world of Magic, and Striped Bears helped green mages every where keep their hand brimming with bears.  It’s been a long, long time since I’ve seen this ol’ bugger, but I bet he’s still doing alright.

1. Grizzly Bears
  • Set: Every set of all time (except for all the sets I didn’t make it into, and that one core set that decided not to run me)

Did you really expect anything else?  I’m the bear.  I’m the reason it’s called a bear.  Years and years from now, when you hear anyone, for any reason, call anything a bear... you’ll have me to thank.  Better than a bear, worse than a bear, it all comes back to bears.  I may not be printed as often these days, but I’ll always be around.